Since Uncle Thorstein™ has no friends or a life he plays a lot of videogames. He has therefore lost all contact with reality many times. To stop that from happening again, he has Thorsteinified this guide for losers like himself who play too much computer- and videogames.
If you have got hurt, call emergency instead of just touch a first aid box.
If you are about to fight, don't try to jump up on your enemys head, because you can probably not jump that high. You will just get beaten up.
To pick up all lose objects might work in a computer- or a videogame, but in real life that behavior is stealing and you might be thrown into jail.